Red, Gold, and Blue All Over
by rudefool
Summary: When you take a shot of lightening to the chest, you'd normally think you'll end up in the after life. When the Blue Spirit is invested in your fate, you change your plans. Zuko meets one half of possibly the greatest troublemakers in the history of Hogwarts- all in pursuit of his sense of humor. RL,SB,Zuko FRIENDSHIP
1. Chapter 1

Note: Yo! Just an odd cross-over here. For your future refrence and possibly reassurance there will be nearly 0% shipping in this. Some mentions of Mai or Tonks, but get ready for all the friendship because that's what's happening.

A shout pierced the mists of those hallowed grounds. From the depths of murky water a young man broke through, gasping and coughing on the mythic air. He clutched at his chest, a wince. He clawed at the raised roots, a curse. All around, a stagnant world of what once was, what is, and what will be swirled around him in dizzying shadows. It was terrifying. His breath caught. Everything was utterly terrifying.

This sepia world with the occasional blotch of color made nearly blinding by the simple pinciple that everything else was just so dull. It was foreign and alien and completely unexplainable.

He struggled some more in the brown water, cringing at the near iridescent surface that floated slick with some strange oil. A foot caught on a submerged and very invisible rock, eliciting yet another line of profanity. He stumbled, sloshing and splashing. The strange atmosphere smelled of heavy incense like smoky sandalwood and heady rose. It was nearly intoxicating. He stumbled some more.

A low island pressed above the water level. It was carpeted with sandy brush and twisted, wiry trees. He crawled onto the bank completely unsure why everything was such a struggle. Looking up, his eyes traveled across a figure folded in meditation before him. The creature peered down hands breaking from lotus position to rest on his bony hips.

"Would you mind keeping it down?" it asked irritably. "You are causing enough of a commotion without gasping like some misplaced salmon-tuna." the young man squinted at the odd and annoyed being. Was that a monkey? Just a monkey? Said monkey seemed to read the boy's mind.

"You think I am a mere animal, young prince?" there was a hint of humor in the being's voice. The young man continued sprawled on the ground blinking slowly. "I am Hanuman, Guardian of the Gate and Servant of Rama." he lifted from his meditation and looked upon the boy. "And you, mere mortal, are Prince Zuko, Son of Firelord Ozai and Lady Ursa, Great Grandson of Firelord Sozin and the 248th Flame Avatar, Avatar Roku." Zuko, because that was the young man's name, was caught in surreal confusion. His hoarse voice rang through the dense air.

"Where am I?"

At this, Hanuman laughed.

"You do not know of this place, my mortal, young prince?" Silence continued between either being. "This is a place of timelessness and a place of aging, a place of fullness and a place of emptiness, a place of life and a place of death. This is the place that is and the place that is not. Young fire prince, as Guardian of the Gate I welcome you to the Spirit World. May you tread both decisively and cautiously and may you know that nothing in this realm is ever what it seems."

A cloud of timelessness passed over as Zuko drew a sharp breath. Things stood still. It floated by, the tail end like a gust and time kicked up a breeze through the rattling bamboo. The Spirit World. Aang had told him about it before, but never did he say it was this strange. To Hanuman, he stood with far more grace than when he arrived and croaked a simple "Why?"

"Because you died." the Guardian of the Gate shrugged with little sympathy.

"I died?"

"Well mostly died."

"Mostly? What does that even mean?" Zuko's indignant words shattered the calm around the island. They echoed with sharp edges over the glass-smooth water and the surreal swamp responded with something akin to the beat of a massive drum. It rolled over them and ruffled Zuko's mysteriously dry hair. Hanuman's whiskers stood on end.

"You should be calm Mortal Prince. There are greater deities than myself here and many are gathering to decide your fate."

"My fate? How can I be dead and have a fate?"

"Mostly dead."

Zuko growled. This monkey was a more irritating version of his uncle, spouting cryptic nothings while Zuko snatched at straws.

"You're seriously going to have to tell me what that means." he said lowly. The monkey merely sank back into lotus position and peeked with one brown eye.

"Your friend will tell you. It is not my job. Now wait and be quiet." Zuko huffed and began "But-" only to be droned out by Hanuman's excessive "Om". The prince scowled and sat with his back to the deity, looking out into the vast swamp. He shivered.

Time did not pass. There was an occasional lurch though, like cart wheels from mud. Zuko could feel when time came and went as it swept through the land like an errant wind. The air lulled with intoxicating tastes of fragrant flowers. He wanted to sleep, but he was awake. The drum bounced taut, again over the water ever looming. He wanted to be awake, but he was sleeping.

Everything was a paradox. He felt the warm light of sun in the day all while feeling the cool chill of the moon at night. He inhaled when he exhaled and exhaled when he inhaled. The air was wet when it was dry. The sand was grit when it was smooth. The water was choppy when it was placid. Everything contradicted. Nothing seemed right.

Possibly the strangest part was Zuko's acceptance of all the oddity. The only thing that truly bothered him was the scent of ozone cutting lightly though the incense cloud. It brought the burning back to his chest and when he put his hand to the ache he pictured a keen, amber-eyed face distorted. As he withdrew he imagined the sun tattooed on his palm like it was seared under the tattered fabric of his tunic. Sun hands. Son of Agni. Balling the shape into his fists, Zuko was sure he was being watched and not by Hanuman who was still meditating. He curled into himself with a wary glance over his shoulder. Time paused.

Above him, a phantom pressed through the mist announcing presence with the tight slap of a Kabuki drum. Zuko looked up and saw himself.

"Hello young disciple." the mask spoke with quiet laughter, ghastly and blue. The grinning visage floated massively in the air surrounded by a dark, smoky cloud. It reminded Zuko of the first time he was the Blue Spirit. After dashing free through the night, swinging his swords as he wished, the exiled prince had knelt on the bank along the calm river and saw the black reflection of his alter-ego in the moon light. The way darkness pooled in the eyes and mouth gave the mask an empty look, but it laughed all the same.

"Are you afraid, Mortal?" Zuko shook his head dumbly, less frightened than he was dumbfounded.

"Good." the spirit hung above him like the tentitive hold of a boulder perched on a cliff side.

"I am the Blue Spirit, for that you are aware of, Dear Disciple. Trickster and mischief maker of both the Spirit and the Elemental World, I am feared, but not respected. I am the Guardian of the theater and playwrights and, of course, the scrounge of the Fire Nation, much like you are, Mortal." the mask paused from its introduction, mouth still fixed in the haunting grin that never moved even in speech. "We are very much alike, am I correct, Zuko?" another nod

"But there is just one thing you lack as my most efficient disciple." a breath behind the glazed surface "Do you know what that is?" the mask suddenly swooped down in a rattling of hand drums and Zuko found himself staring into a pair of black holes behind the white rims of the eyelids. He was speechless and perhaps a little frightened with the disembodied face staring him down.

"What you lack, my dear disciple, is humor."

"Humor." came less of a question and more of a statement from Zuko.

"Yes humor. And spontaneity. Everything you have done under my mask was too stiff and deliberate."

Zuko quirked his sole eyebrow.

"And what am I supposed to do about this 'lack of humor'?"

The mask tilted as if contemplating.

"That is where we face our dilemma, disciple. You are mostly dead and until the Council of Greater Spirits decides your fate you will remain here." Zuko was sure he didn't want to stay in a bizarre swamp for an indefinite amount of time. The Blue Spirit seemed to comprehend this as it continued.

"So I decided it would be in both our benefit if I were to send you someplace during this deliberation. Someplace where you will learn less gloom and more mischief."

"You want me to... Misbehave?"

"Of course I do. Is there a problem for you?"

"I'm a Prince. That should serve as a proper explanation, don't you think?"

The mask laughed full out and Hanuman grumbled behind them.

"Mortals are mortals, disciple. Lineage matters little to spirits. You are a medium of my teachings- and a very good one may I add. Be you royalty or peasantry, I only care of your effectiveness." Zuko opened and closed his mouth to little effect, appearing all the misplaced salmon-tuna Hanuman accused him of sounding like earlier.

"If you object, I welcome you to stay indefinitely in the Spirit World."

The exiled prince deliberated his immediate fate- one that somehow still existed even though he had supposedly lost his life. That must have came with the 'mostly dead' thing. He could either remain in a painfully perplexing world of contradictions or travel to some unknown place with unknown people in search of his missing humor.

"What are the conditions?"

"Conditions? The Blue Spirit has no need for conditions. You should know this, disciple."

Zuko groaned. The deity of mischief. So much for a straight answer.

"Any idea how long the deliberations will take?"

"How long?" the Blue Spirit let out a short, loud 'Hah!'. "Have you not realized by now? The Spirit World has no measurable time. You may as well ask a hog-monkey how many scales it has on its fins. It could feel like minutes or it could feel like years." another groan from the banished prince.

"Now if you were to take my deal" the spirit continued, mask rising again to where it originally appeared "You will wait three moons. And the things you will learn, my disciple! I will be proud to have such a well-rounded prophet- living or dead."

"Living or dead?"

"Well, that is what the Council is deciding. You are surprisingly important to them- although not nearly as much as you are to me."

A quiet pause fell, only broken by Hanuman's 'Om'.

"Zuko, my dear disciple. Would I offer you this choice if it was not beneficial to you? More importantly, if it was not beneficial to myself?" the mortal prince shook his head, uncertain

"I don't know."

"Please do decide, my disciple. Here is another argument in my plan's favor. I am sure you have heard of the spirit Koh?" an nod "well, the Council expelled him after all that Avatar Kuruk business so he is wondering around somewhere as we speak. I do not doubt he would find the face of a young fire prince quite a nice addition to his collection- especially a face as... Distinct as your own."

Zuko had to admit, the Blue Spirit struck a pretty hard bargain with that bit of information. Feeling the coarse-but-not-coarse sand under his fingers while the time that did not pass passed by, he knew this world would drive him to an edge before the Council of Greater Spirits even got fully into their debates. Or Koh could steal his face before he went mad. Either outcome wasn't too bright.

Looking up at the mask in its dark folded smoke, Zuko pulled a somewhat unsure smirk. His amber eyes were a different story, though; they flashed bright in the earthy swamp, laden with determination few could hope to rival. The Blue Spirit waited expectantly.

"Alright. I do it."

And with the beat of a drum the mask continued grinning.

* * *

Sirius Black had more than enough problems, thank you very much. They came in all sorts of shapes and sizes. First and foremost was full moon shaped and fading fast in the bleak morning light. It involved a friend with too much pride and a blood thirsty beast that happened to be the same friend. Also remarkably bothersome was the Voldemort shaped problem that had the escaped convict running through a forest in the first place. There were other issues, of course- like the one that looked suspiciously like Cornelius Fudge's lime green bowler. That one issued a reward for his arrest. The ministry problem originated from another detestable issue- one that was distinctly rat formed.

Running in dog form over woodland and moors, Sirius wished with great fervor that no other problem would present its self on that overly hectic day. Whatever listened to the wishes of mortals or the hopes and dreams of normal people laughed at the Black Heir. That great being simply chuckled and plucked a few constellations from the sky.

"Poor, poor Sirius Black" it intoned to no one in particular "The stars simply aren't in your favor."

After observing nuclear fusion with remarkable calm, the deity would throw the celestial body to the ground with an other great shout of laughter.

"Let there be problems!" and thus more problems for Sirius Black were born.

Possibly the biggest and most unfortunately placed problem was the boy shaped one residing just next to one of the flat moor rocks the dog animagus found himself leaping over. It was wedged along the far jutting edge in an impossible blind spot, not visible until one was literally on top of it.

Sirius felt a padded foot press onto something that wasn't hard rock or damp ground. He spun in shock, spying the form he had just stepped on. It groaned. It rolled over. It looked at Sirius.

It was definitely a boy and the wizard definitely had no idea what to do with this problem. Over one side of his face ran a livid scar far different from any healed wound Sirius had ever seen. Sure, there was Harry's lightening bolt and Dumbledore's Underground map (something Sirius regretted ever seeing as it hid on the headmaster's knobby knee under those gaudy robes) and Remus's werewolf scars, but never had he spied something so massive and all encompassing. Behind it was a slit of an eye, poorly matching its slanted neighbor, but both a rich amber color. Barring a good third of the boy's face, he could be called quite handsome with pale skin, high cheekbones and a narrow nose.

The stranger seemed to be terribly confused by Sirius's presence. He opened and closed his mouth a few times before hissing in pain. The animagus watched as the boy pushed himself up with obvious effort. In exhaustion, the boy tilted his head to the sky and nearly slumped back down. Sirius took this distraction as an opportunity to transform. Hopefully the stranger before him would be too out of it to connect the dog glimpsed earlier with the tattered man that stood in its place. The boy seemed to notice anyway, snapping his head back to peer at Sirius with suspicious, golden eyes.

"When did you get here?" his voice was hoarse and hinted at a slight accent- maybe American.

"Just now." Sirius supplied "Saw you out here and thought you might need some help."

The boy let out a huff which could have been interpreted as breathy laughter or a sniff of distain. He closed his eyes briefly, single eyebrow drawn into a furrow.

"Where's that... Animal."

"You mean the dog?"

"Uh... Yes. The... Dog." he opened his eyes again and began staring unabashedly at Sirius. How odd. What person didn't know what a dog was?

"Saw him run off over there. Think I might have scared him away." this accompanied by a generic wave of the hand in a random direction. The boy nodded and grimaced.

"Are you alright?" the wizard asked, eyeing the stranger's singed and bruised appearance. The boy seemed to consider this, sooty fingers clutched the burnt and torn fabric at his chest, before replying shortly "No.".

He pulled his hand back to reveal a fresher, but equally painfully looking mark as the one on his face. It marred the skin along his sternum like a red and vicious sun bolt with strange tendrils of fading rose. Sirius wondered how someone could aquire a wound like that. Was this boy a wizard? Was the injury from a curse? He didn't articulate these questions, though.

"Blimy." came Sirius's very eloquent response. The young man looked rather unimpressed and in a fair amount of pain. He still managed to punch the bridge of his nose, though, in some well practiced art of long-suffering.

"Look, I'm not really sure where I am... So could you... uh tell me where I can get help for this?"

Sirius balked.

"And how are you going to get there once I tell you? You'll walk?" Sirius had only known the boy for a little over a minute, but it wasn't hard for the convict to detect the hubris. Wounded men couldn't afford pride- neither could escaped criminals for that matter. For Merlin's sake, the kid had a hole blasted into his chest! There was only a sliver of a chance that he could make it to help without dying on the way. The likelihood of things going the way the boy seemed to hope they would was about as probable as Fudge showing up right then and there with a hug and an Order or Merlin, First class for the murderer Sirius Black. There would be plenty of rainbows too, and a flock of winged bowler hats and rats on sticks and underground maps printed on everything. Before his musings on impossibilities descended into a perplexing haze that strongly resembled a Salvador Dali painting, Sirius was brought back by yet another nose pinch from the boy. He visibly gritted his teeth with a show of tentatively restrained anger.

"Will you stop messing with me. Can't you see I actually need help?" the boy's voice was strained with both pain and temper and his eye's flashed a fierce copper.

Sirius shrugged.

"I could always take you with me. I was just going to a friend who I'm sure can patch you up." the animagus tried to block that incessant voice that reminded him why he was really sent to see Remus. Instead, he grumbled another, equally unfortunate product of his thoughts.

"He'll patch you up as soon as he finishes patching up himself."

"What?"

"Nothing kid. Do you have a name?" a long pause proceeded in which it was unclear if the boy even remembered his name.

"Where am I?" came the rather non-sequitur response.

"I hope that's not your name. That would be a bloody awful name." the scarred boy grit his teeth.

"No it's not. Now tell me where I am."

"Well! Someone's pushy. If you need to know that much, we're on a moor- the North York Moor to be specific." Sirius was feeling a bit petulant "I believe the Muggles made this into a national park. Shame our government can't worry about easy things like what should and shouldn't be a park." he added quite uselessly as the kid watched, a mix of confusion and irritation spreading across his mangled visage.

"A moor?" he asked shortly, still not supplying Sirius with a name.

"Yes. A moor." the convict parroted with equally annoyed brevity. A blank look met his retort.

"You know, the great and wild moors of Great Britain? What are you doing out here without knowing what they're called? Looking for Heathcliff?"

"What do you mean, Great Britain?"

"Merlin." Sirius really didn't have time for this.

"What human being doesn't know about Great Britain? Did you hit your head along with your chest or are Americans actually as dull as people say they are?" the boy took offense to this and made to get up aggressively. The effect was successfully ruined by the wound pointed out in Sirius's short rant.

"I'm not stupid." it was obvious the kid meant to put more venom into his words, but he just couldn't muster the strength. Sirius closed his eyes in exasperation, like said before, he really didn't have time for this. Reminded by the tight schedule, he copied the boy's earlier gesture and wedged his nose forcibly between thumb and index finger.

"I never said you were. Look, I can offer help since you're obviously in a bad way, but I need to know your name." it wouldn't be all that helpful to the soon to be formed Order if Sirius got himself killed by some scarred little Death Eater Jr. It was always good to be cautious around strangers- even if they didn't know what bloody Great Britain was. Maybe he was amnesiac.

" It's Zuko." huh. Kid did remember his name.

"Well Zuko" the name was foreign on the wizard's tongue like spices of the far east "You can call me... Call me Snuffles."

"Snuffles?" came an unbelieving response.

"My parents were quite the strange couple." that wasn't really a lie and eccentric naming of a more serious type happened all over his family tree. Zuko was not all that common of a name either; Sirius had never heard of it. Maybe in the extremely sheltered part of America or Korea or Thailand where no one knew about the United Kingdom it was frequently used. Maybe not.

He shuffled over to Zuko glad that at least Remus's house was only about a mile from this point.

"Alright kid. Lets get you some help." without little warning he hefted the teen up, feeling exceedingly scrawny next to Zuko's lean, muscled form. Living in a cave didn't really do wonders for one's physique.

They started the slow progression down the desolate little peak they had found themselves on, dragging through the purpled heather under an increasingly grey sky. Sirius wished on a rock- the stars were invisible in daylight and would still be behind the cloudy night sky- that maybe the thing that controlled the fate of men would stop messing with him.


	2. Chapter 2

Note: Hey! Holiday gift baskets full of appreciation to everyone who reviewed, followed, or favorited this story. As a pretty new author on FanFic, this means a lot to me. You guys are great! Get ready for lots of dialogue and miscommunication in this chapter.

Chapter Two: Mutual Foreigners

Nearly everything about Sirius's long time friend, Remus Lupin, was an anomaly. There was, of course, said friend's status of possibly the only trained wizard werewolf in existence. There were all the strange mannerisms and idiosyncrasies of the man- most Sirius found either incredibly annoying or terribly endearing. There were the books he read, the films he watched (honestly, what kind of wizard watched films?), the foods he ate and the work he did. Remus was certainly not the average man of the wizarding world.

It was fitting that the werewolf's residency existed in an anomaly itself. The hills dipped into a small bowl around Remus's ancient cottage. There, the air fell damper into lower soil and a sudden outcropping of trees sprung from its depths like the bristles of a brush. It was a sudden oasis on the otherwise desolate, windswept moors. Nestled in between the leathery pine and sturdy maples was the Lupin cottage- possibly a relic from Tudor rule. It was the classic dampened cream color with strips of deteriorating brown wood. The thatched roof looked exceptionally questionable and Sirius was sure the only way it was surviving was Remus's knack for charms. Despite its apparent age, the house looked well kept and even a somewhat bright spot in the otherwise brown and drab moorland. A pot of crimson petunias sat on the worn and sloping front step; Sirius watched it from a distance for some time while Zuko looked up at him with annoyance.

"We stopped because...?" he prompted. Sirius could not tell his new acquaintance that there were magical wards around the house that only allowed entrance on request so he shrugged.

"I guess tradition."

"Tradition."

"Yes that's what I said, right?"

They stood for a few more moments as Zuko began to lean heavier on Sirius. Whether this action was to spite him for stopping or was from sheer exhaustion was not clear so the wizard ignored it in favor of getting his friend.

Wishing he had a wand to amplify his voice, he shouted across Remus's lovingly tended lawn.

"Good morning! Remus Lupin! Get your scrawny arse out here!"

Sirius somehow doubted this yelling method would work. He helped Zuko onto a semi comfortable looking rock and began bashing against the invisible wards. The scarred teen watched him like a doctor would his mental patient.

"Up and at 'em sleeping beauty!" he jumped shoulder first at the magical boundary. "It's your best friend, Padfoot! Don't leave a dog out in the cold, wet countryside!" behind him, Zuko let out a noise that would have been as far as possible from a laugh for any other person, but was probably the only sound a joy the boy made. Just from their walk from A to B, Sirius could tell the kid was pretty humorless. He smashed against the ward again hollering a "Yoo-hoo Remus! Rise and shine!" before backing up and jumping at it again.

At that moment, in mid air, the front door of the cottage opened and the wards fell away. Sirius found himself face down in the wet grass and Zuko released something that could finally resemble a chuckle. On the front step, stood a very haggard and mauled looking Remus Lupin. Even in his battered state he managed that dry eyebrow raise and quirk of the lips always caught between condescending and endearing. Hanging white knuckled to the threshold, a fresh cut running down his cheek to his neck, he smiled.

"Hullo Sirius. And to what do I owe the pleasure?"

Before Sirius could even dream up a witty retort, Zuko's voice rose behind them.

"Sirius? Why did you tell me your name was Snuffles?"

"Oh."

Remus snickered "Snuffles? Really, Padfoot?"

Sirius spun to face the kid who was now standing against everyone's better judgement.

"Sit down, Zuko."

"No. I know enough that when someone doesn't give you their real name, they're hiding something."

"Sit down, you'll hurt yourself more."

"No. Not until you tell me who you really are." damn. The kid was stubborn. This exchange was sorely reminiscent of one in the Shrieking Shack about a year ago with Harry's friend, Ron. It was not a reassuring comparison.

"Does the name Sirius Black mean anything to you?" the animagus tried, watching Zuko carefully.

"No." came simple and honest. Sirius was relieved.

"Well then! I'm Sirius Black and I'll explain why I didn't tell you once you're not standing out here in the cold."

From the corner of his eye, Sirius saw Remus stumbling down the step to make his way to Zuko. Werewolves after the full moon were not much help in a situation like this. The convict groaned.

"For Merlin's sake, Remus I can take care of this. Get back inside. I don't need two invalids on my hands." he could tell his friend was rolling his eyes at this point, but he made a point to deliberately ignore it. Instead, he hauled Zuko from his rock and dragged him across the lawn, up the stoop and over the threshold. The whole time Remus watched him with sharp questioning in his rather tired eyes. More problems for Sirius, a battered werewolf, a kid that looked like he had been struck by lightening, and a returned Dark Lord; joy of joys, was he going to have a long day.

* * *

He supposed he should have been incredibly grateful for the circumstances that lead him to a place of shelter and help. Maybe if the man who had saved him hadn't reminded him sorely of Toph with all the brash bravado and loud shouting remincent of a certain pint- sized earth bending prodigy. Zuko liked Toph, really he did, but if he had to choose someone to help him in his present state he would have chosen a person with a little more empathy and a little less volumn.

It was a relief when they finally arrived. "Snuffles" made a fool of himself until his rather annoying demands for entrance were heard. His friend and "help" looked like he needed some assistance himself. Both men Zuko had happened upon looked worse for wear, tired and worn, but this man, Remus, looked like he had been attacked by some angry beast while "Snuffles" held the appearance of someone who had been living in the gutter for a year or two. They both could have used some of Katara's cooking- that much wasn't hard to tell.

Zuko was drawn away from the state of his saviors by the conversation before him. They spoke strangely with a draw to their words never heard by the prince's ears before. There was a sort of sharp punctuality to "Snuffle's" diction though, like an almost militant correctness. That reminded him of Toph even more- especially when the man tried to cover it up with slang. It was obvious through speech patterns and posture he had an aristocratic upbringing.

Then "Snuffles" was not "Snuffles". This was a quite bothersome revelation in Zuko's current predicament. After hitching across the Earth Kingdom under a false moniker for months on end, the banished prince knew the reasons for covering up a name. People didn't lie about their identity if they donated to charity or saved a hoard of children from a burning building. No, you gave a false name if you stole or killed or betrayed or committed about any other taboo that had people after you. So he stood and didn't listen to anything his so-called-rescuer told him until it was the truth.

He had no idea why Sirius Black would choose such an awful name to disguise himself. Mushi had nothing on Snuffles; that was like comparing the strength of tea versus that of baijiu. No wonder he questioned it when he first asked. It was a down right ridiculous name.

Just because Sirius's alias reached a level of absurdity rivaled only by Sokka's nightmares, didn't mean his supposed actual name wasn't odd. In fact, both men's names were possibly the strangest he had ever heard. Matching that were their appearances. Zuko had never seen hair like Remus's before. It was as if he had dumped ashes on his head while some sandy color remained. Sirius's looked like it had been folded over and over into crinkly zig-zags. They both were rather tall and thin and in a state of disrepair: the kind of people Zuko could take in a fight if the reason for name dishonestly was a nefarious one.

Sirius heaved him up again after establishing that his name really was Sirius. He was dragged across the manicured patch of grass, up the worn stone step, past the pot of red flowers, and into the small house.

They stood in the entryway as Remus shut the door behind everyone, cool, grey light thinning to a sliver until it finally faded with the click of the lock. The two friends conversed quietly as they walked into the space. A warm room lay itself out before Zuko. The floor was a dark wood covered in threadbare rugs of once rich, now faded jewel tones. The walls held a similar wood as the floor in deep, heavy looking panels of rich grain and finish. At the far end, the ceiling sloped and a window sat in a square recess. The light slid oily across the polished planks, pale blue strips laying flat over knots. A hearth stood grey and empty to his one side while a cramped little labyrinth of a kitchen twisted on his other. It was pleasantly crowded and comfortable if one were to look past an unsettling detail.

The corner of the rug closest to the fireplace was thrown back to reveal the black and gaping mouth of some sunless pit. Zuko didn't ask why Remus needed a trap door leading to a chamber of darkness. He just stared until Sirius pushed him onto a chair.

"That's really welcoming, Moony." the dark haired man pointed at the entrance with some snark while his friend stood to the side, obviously uncomfortable.

"I wasn't expecting guests." Remus had a hoarse voice, all sharp and cut, but there was still something inexplicably mild about it. Each word seemed enunciated with careful levity and a deliberate calmness that was unfitting in his current, beaten appearance. Sirius released a sudden and startling laugh.

"Couldn't have made us a casserole then, huh?" Zuko had no idea what this 'casserole' thing was.

"Sirius, you know my culinary capabilities only extend to tea and sandwiches- and that's for prestigious guests. For you, I might have some old rice from a that one takeout in Soho."

"Ahah! Werewolves of London much, Remus?" Zuko felt very out of the loop-

"No, Padfoot. Keep pressing that irony and you'll be eating the cardboard box and I'll keep the rice." -in fact, the prince felt so far out of the loop he was sure he would need a telescope to just find it.

"Moony! I've been in the cold and rain for months! Sleeping in caves, eating insects- I deserve _at least_ a nine- course meal!" Sirius whined, his face morphing as close to Aang's lion- puppy look as its gaunt features allowed. It was fairly unnerving and slightly disturbing. Remus chuckled, and shuffled over to shakily shut the door before pulling the thinning rug over the spot.

"Nine- course, at least? That's a but much. I wasn't even aware there were meals with more courses." the warm laugh continued throughout Remus's murmurings. He stood with some effort.

"I dunno... Maybe in America they have 12- course meals... Zuko! I'm sure they have more than nine where you're from, right?"

Sirius had that demanding sort of voice that messed with silent types like Zuko. The exiled prince looked sharply from side to side while desperately trying to find something to say in which he sounded like he actually knew what " America" was.

"Uh... In America? Well... Um... In America we have... We have..." Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"Padfoot, the young man doesn't need this questioning right now." the other man sat in a seat opposite from Zuko and gave him an apologetic look. That was a relief. He really didn't want to explain he was from a different world- that wasn't a good way to start the morning in any reality.

Being the educated noble he was, Zuko attempted a conversation tactic to manipulate the attention away, not that he was any good at manipulation. All he knew was focus needed diversion to some other pressing topic. The question as to why Sirius was "Snuffles" for a brief period burned so much it could hardly be called a simple curiously. It was a rather necessary answer considering Zuko was stuck in this strange land for three months and staying with wanted criminals wasn't exactly ideal.

"So why did you give me a fake name?" this contrasted greatly with his verbal fumble of how many dishes were served during a meal in America. Zuko was in control, he could be injured and in another world, but look how the tables were turned! Nothing could usurp the calm of taking the reigns of conversation within one's own grasp.

"Well... You're sure you've never heard my name before?"

"Positive." Zuko said calmly.

"Alright then. I'm a wrongly convicted mass murder who escaped from the country's highest security prison to exact my revenge on the true committer of the crime I was imprisoned for."

Somehow the reigns of conversation were now in the far corner of the room, nailed to the wall and twitching pathetically. Zuko was no longer unruffled and in control. He was actually quite bothered and more than ready to show the men some fire.

"That was very... Illuminating, Padfoot. You make quite an impression." Remus's dry quip wasn't helping Zuko. It wasn't very convenient that he was in a strange world with a nice, neat lightening bolt in his chest, either. Maybe the Blue Spirit had planned this in purpose. Putting the banished prince of the Fire Nation with a couple of criminals sounded exactly like something the masked diety would do.

"We could always obliviate him."

"No, I could, Sirius. You don't have a wand."

Zuko readied his defenses. These potential delinquents were planning something.

"Yeah, well, you'd better keep it at the ready, Remus. Kid looks a bit shocked.

"I think you broke the poor boy, Padfoot."

"You're right! Looks like you back in second year when we found out you were a-"

"YOU KILLED SOMEONE?" Zuko really hadn't meant to introduce all the flames with his almost hysterical demand. In his unstable state, however, it was remarkable there hadn't been more. They flew from his fists as he stood abruptly and looked at either man with a sharpness that made the fiercest generals cower. Zuko saw Remus's eyes widened a fraction. Sirius responded more audibly and impressively by shouting a "Merlin's balls!" and effectively drawing Zuko's offense to his person. The man's scraggly beard was fantastic kindling.

"Remus! My beard! Do something!" Sirius's friend shook his head slightly, visibly shocked from the sudden fire, and lept up, while he whipped out a polished stick from his shabby robes. Zuko, poised for another attack, but gave Remus a glance before deciding that these criminals were incredibly hopeless. Who put out a fire with a stick? Only the remarkably stupid, that's who.

Consequently, Zuko was astounded when a word was shouted and water burst from the very tip of that wooden rod. Sirius was soaked, tattered rags plastered to his boney frame. So Remus's stick wasn't as harmless as it looked; this man was obviously a water bender. The weapon was lowered and Zuko found himself under a very piercing, calculating gaze.

"Sirius, I thought you said the young man was a muggle." there was a pause when Sirius cursed his fill until he had the capability of rational speech.

" I did!" Remus's stare didn't waver

"Well, he's obviously not."

Sirius gestured wildly, spraying them with little droplets. His voice was sharp.

"Well _obviously_ I didn't know!"

Zuko did not feel intimidated under Remus's gaze, but he was sure others of lesser nerve undoubtably would break. It was less a threatening look and more like a researcher examining a fascinating new specimen, honestly disconcerting and more than a little detrimental to his already waning control. He may not have felt intimidated, but Zuko wouldn't lie and say he wasn't uncomfortable.

"Zuko, correct?"

The prince didn't trust himself with anything beyond a nod. Everything else would probably descend into a full out bonfire in the cramped room.

"Alright Zuko. Maybe you could tell us about what just happened." Remus's voice was ridiculously calm- it was almost surreal how unbothered he seemed to be about the whole situation. Zuko found it slightly insulting.

"I'll tell you what happened! Little bugger shot fire at me! Great lot of thanks I get for saving his arse!"

"Sirius." came an admonishing warning that Zuko was both grateful and wary of. While Sirius was rather annoying, the block of his running mouth meant that Zuko had to talk and the bender wasn't that keen on elaborating on his status as a dimension traveler.

A silence reigned between the three of them, as desolate and unyielding as the vast moors surrounding their cheery little pit. Remus continued watching him while Sirius alternated between glaring at him and glaring at his own cremated beard. No one sat down. It was fantastically tense like the showdown in "Love Amongst Dragons" when the two rivals battled for the heroin's heart, almost dramatically out of proportion and nearly unbearable. It was a small relief none of them were lovers- that would just be another layer of general inconvenience.

Zuko really wished he wasn't standing, though, it seriously wasn't helping him at the moment. The edges of his vision were darkening and Zuko felt himself begin his decent down the tunnel of inevitability to an eventual and very literal collapse. Honestly! The fire bender came with Sirius for help, not a full-out stalemate with his potential healers.

So it came as a genuine surprise when Zuko wasn't the first to succumb to the weakness injuries brought. Remus, until then, had been the pinnacle of staunch interrogation; a larger portion of their impasse had been Zuko avoiding the man's penetrating gaze. Spirits be damned (no, really, damn them. This was all their fault) his chest hurt like a hot iron brand and no one had the sympathy to simply take a seat!

"Maybe we should sit down. I'm sure this can be resolved civilly."

If Zuko actually hugged people, Remus would be on the receiving end of that gesture. Sirius decided to glare at him with the intensity of one thousand fiery suns again, but sat on a rather unfortunate ottoman all the same. He crested the low table with little effect, the dark look in his eyes dominating his otherwise unthreatening, crouched form. Zuko edged down, watching Sirius the entire time.

"I'll put on the kettle."

Suddenly, Zuko wasn't the object of Sirius's restrained rage.

"No you won't put on the kettle." Remus had not yet returned to his chair and was instead limping towards the kitchen.

"I have guests."

"No, you have people bothering you too early in the morning."

"I insist."

"And I insist you sit down. You know I was just kidding about the casserole." Sirius was up from his poof and practically grappling with his friend. Zuko just watched. It was actually quite amusing and a great diversion from more pressing issues.

"What kind of host am I if there's no tea?" came the weak counterargument. Until then, Zuko had no idea this dilemma was about tea. At that moment he ignored any pain he was experiencing to focus on the painfully stupid aspects of this situation. What kind of man sacrificed his health for tea? Oh wait. His uncle would, and apparently so would Remus.

"You're not the Molly Weasly kind, that's what. Come on Remus! Sit down." Zuko observed that Sirius had done a large amount of dragging that day- the firebender almost felt sorry for the man, but the potential criminal part banished most sympathy. The two friends returned to the table with some difficulty as it appeared Remus had loss the use of his legs. Sirius was huffing and puffing and absolutely livid with the rest of the other man's feeble protests.

"I'll make the bloody tea when this is all sorted out! How's that?" he flung his friend into the chair "Now stay down!"

There was an awkward silence in which Zuko wasn't sure if he should be explaining himself. Remus beat him.

"But you _always_ ruin tea. I don't know how you do it, but you do."

"Shut up."

There and then Zuko found a kindred spirit in Sirius. Maybe things could work out between them if it somehow turned out the man hadn't killed anyone.

"I'm a fire bender." it may have been a late response to an earlier question, but both men opposite of him were completely attentive and maybe a bit confused.

"A what?" Remus had sunken deep into his cushion with obvious exhaustion, but his voice still held curious energy.

"A fire bender. Aren't you a water bender?"

"No." maybe they didn't have the same name for bending in the world. Zuko racked his brains for another term. Sokka came to mind. The prince remembered his friend's forehead smack inducing terms for they way his friends fought: Magic water, magic fire, magic air, magic rocks and most memorably awful sounding: magic mud.

"Well... Uh- it's kind of like magic..." Zuko expected ridicule for this. He braced himself, ridicule was one of his least favorite things- right up there with Uncle flirting with younger women. So the prince was completely unprepared when both men gazed in his direction momentarily before locking eyes with each other. Plastered almost infuriatingly on either of their faces was a rather sly, knowing look that made Zuko feel wholly uncomfortable.

"You know, Padfoot, this magic thing sounds rather familiar."

"It does ring a bell, Moony my friend." they said this with concealed humor that hinted at some inside joke. Zuko hated inside jokes, even when he was on the "inside".

"Maybe if you're willing to give us a chance we'll give you one too, kid." the fire bender eyed Sirius warily. The man held up his hands with a wry grin.

"And, while my criminal record is far from crystal, I can promise I haven't killed anyone." Zuko considered this. The banished Prince of the Fire Nation wasn't someone who went out of their way to trust people, but maybe he would give these strange men from this strange land a chance. They could have killed him at any time during all the ridiculous exchanges earlier, but they hadn't. That fact was somewhat reassuring.

"If I tell you how and why I got here, will you tell me about this place?" as much as he dreaded doing just that, Zuko knew he had to for the sake of survival and if the prince of the Fire Nation was good at anything it was definitely staying alive. It wad rather ironic he was "mostly dead" at the moment. The whole concept seemed to conflict with his entire character. He pushed those thoughts aside, though, they were particularly troublesome.

"Sure, although I'm not sure what you mean by this place." Remus said, giving him that keen, analyzing look again, only it was significantly less threatening when he was collapsed in his chair.

"You'll find out soon enough."

The lightening wound still burned more than the sun on the Si Wong desert, Remus looked half dead, and with the newly singed beard, Sirius looked even more like an escaped convict. They made a odd trio.

"Maybe you could give that help you promised." Zuko hoped he had not sounded too demanding, but the injury really wasn't pleasant and he was sure whatever this world had to offer would make it feel at least a bit better than it was currently.

"All right. I guess it's a deal. Remus? Can you work some of that healing charm magic?" Sirius shook his friend after the other man's eyes began drifting shut. Remus confirmed with a tired "Mmhm." as he began fumbling for the stick he channeled his powers through.

"Don't think I have forgiven you about the beard, though." Zuko would have solidly connected his palm with his forehead if it didn't cause him more than the necessary amount of pain at the moment. Instead, he settled for a nice, classic pinching of the bridge of the nose. Remus seconded his exasperation with a muttering of "Merlin's beard." which was mostly gibberish to Zuko, but was obviously uttered in annoyance.

"Well at least Merlin had a beard! You weren't living in a cold damp cave for months on end! You would never appreciate the value of a beard as a face warmer and now mine's gone!" Remus rolled his eyes and straightened when the stick was withdrawn from the depths of his pockets

"I'm sorry for your loss, Padfoot. Now Zuko, how did you acquire this injury?"

Zuko knew there was no point in lying- he was a awful liar anyway- so he sank into his seat, soft cushions enclosing his form and nearly grinned. Unless one had the unfortunate honor of meeting his sister, the source of the wound would seem so unlikely, so terribly based on chance. Almost like the way Zuko had ended up where he was with who he was with. It was poetically ironic.

"I got struck by lightening."


	3. Unexpected Comradery

A.N: Lady Butt Nasty has decided to update. Sorry about the ultra delay, I've been all up in college apps and senior year madness. Good news is that I've gotten into Milwaukee Institute of Art and Design and I've gotten deferred from Cooper U. (Which is actually a big deal and I might actually get in with regular decision and I don't know how I feel about that because I put a blank sheet of paper in for the last problem.) oh well. Please enjoy. (Or don't) your choice.

Chapter Three: Unexpected Comradery

The smell of singed hair was assaulting his nostrils at a continuous waft. His beard was just so close to his nose. All in all, Sirius Black felt incredibly irritated, agitated and maybe a bit lost. Things were a whirr of worries about a looming war, the constant fear of re-incarceration, and a kid he had stupidly picked up in some misplaced gesture of kindness. Zuko was simply another layer of that teetering, melting, poorly-assembled cake that was Sirius Black's life. He would need that charm Remus used to keep the thatched roof up to stabilize the tilting confection. That really took the cake.

Ignoring that his life was just some warped schematic of faulty architecture, Sirius focused of the immediate problem.

"Merlin! Stop insisting he's a water bender or whatever you call it! Remus is a Wizard. That's it!"

Zuko was healed and fully ready to verbally duke it out with the man who had saved him from probable death.

"He shot water and healed me! What else am I supposed to call that? He's got to be a water bender."

"I'll have you know that here, in Britain, the term bender is an insult."* Zuko only frowned more at this. The boy seemed to be very gifted at drawing the corners of his mouth downwards; Sirius resisted the urge to tell Zuko his face would stick like that if he's scowling all the time. Instead, he swung around to poke Remus firmly in the shoulder. The werewolf roused slightly from sleep with a soft "Hmm?"

"Got to bed, Remus. You look like hell."

Zuko watched both of them with unnerving, golden eyes. Sirius had to give the kid some credit. At least he had enough sense to be suspicious.

"I told you what happened to me. What about him?" the scarred teen indicated with a slight nod towards Remus. The two wizards raised brows, meeting each other's eyes. The silent exchange did little in the way of reaching an unspoken conclusion.

"I'm..." Sirius's friend started slowly, but lost the already nonexistent motion with lethargic indecision.

"He fights bears." in the chair beside him, Remus coughed in a very poor cover of a laugh. "All the bears are terrified of him."

"Bears?" Zuko's confusion seemed very unjustified.

"Please tell me you've heard of a bear before."

"I know what a bear is." the kid said with a harsh reassurance and then asked "Why fight them?"

Sirius would not have come up with such a spectacular answer to this if he hadn't spent many of his school years making excuses to teachers regarding many questionable activities.

"To defend his family's honor. Mrs. Lupin was a carpeter-"

"Carpenter, Sirius. My mum never made rugs."

"Whatever. As I was saying, Remus's mum was a carmender and she had a vendetta against a bear the tore apart her... Her powder tools. It's a Lupin family tradition; they have to swear to fight bears."

Remus sounded like he was choking on something and a hand was held over his mouth. He was obviously snickering. Zuko, who seemed to be taking this very seriously, did not catch the joke.

"Is it really worth it?" he asked pointedly as if the question has some deep, hidden personal value.

"Oh, yes. I feel very honorable the whole time. We even bow before and after." at Remus's thinly veiled sarcasm, Zuko frowned. Sirius reckoned they may have taken the joke too far. He readied another excuse and decided he may just run the humor to its end.

"It's always hard for Remus to bow at the end, though. The bears tend to be pretty rough."

"They aren't the friendliest of creatures." The werewolf added grinning.

"I heard they get along with dogs." the animagus said with a sly glance at his friend "But they have an appetite for Americans. Something about all the hamburgers really gets their tastebuds going."

Zuko looked fully aware of their antics by then and made it apparent with a growl "Forget I asked. You two are just idiots." and continued scowling until he appeared to remember something. Instead of elaborating, however, the kid just stared at the two of them intently with little in the way of clues to his revelation.

"Moony! I am highly offended he called us idiots!" Sirius exclaimed high and dramatic. He was sure Remus winced at the tone.

"It's all your fault Padfoot. You used to always drag me into your stupidity- you and James were like the crusaders of the moronic."

Sirius was glad to have his friend back. He had missed this kind of banter while he sat alone in the damp confines of his cell or the dark solitude of the cave. It was as if he was suddenly dry and warm and away from those places- not physically, but on another level of happiness entirely. It was something spiritual and almost cathartic. Sirius was positive Remus felt the same- if the gentle smile of his friend's face was any indication.

"You aren't going to tell me." Zuko interrupted them with something that resembled more of a statement than a question. Caught in some thought he continued "I didn't expect you to anyway. Look, thanks for helping me, but I need to find something."

"Do you have to leave?" Remus asked with concern

"I think so." Zuko seemed to curse his own uncertainty and shifted his usually peircing gaze to his hands.

"What are you looking for? I know it's not Heathcliff; I already asked you that anyway."

"I- what even is Heathcliff?" frustration was clear in the teen's voice.

Sirius only sighed in over emphasized disappointment. "Kids these days... They can't even appreciate good, Muggle, British literature."

"You've read Emily Brontë?" Remus had the nerve to sound incredibly unbelieving.

"Only book I could get in prison. No idea why the guard had it- I mean, most of the men who work there a purist bastards- but it was something to do. That and crosswords."

"That's quite intellectual of you, Siri-"

"Spirits! Could you just tell me how to get to the next town?" Zuko was up and walking over to the door.

"Impatient, are you? And ungrateful!"

He spun around "I thanked you!"

"And burnt my beard!"

"You made it sound like you were a criminal!"

"Did you want me to lie to you? Oh yes! I'm Sirius Black: the great magical baboon of Christmas puddings! How's that? Would you rather have had me say that?"

Zuko had the look of a very lost person raging over the fact he was very lost. It took a moment for him to retort "No! 'Cause if you had said that, I would have punched you in the face!"

"Well if you want to leave so badly-"

"Sirius."

"What?"

"Just stop. You two are giving me a head ache. Zuko, sit down." To a person unfamiliar with Remus the irritation in the werewolf's voice would have been hard to spot, but Sirius knew his friend very well. The less calm Moony got the shorter his sentences became. They were still uttered with utmost placidness, but there were hints of sharpness. Sirius had only seen Remus genuinely angry a few times in their whole friendship. It wasn't a pleasant experience: the werewolf's words tended to bite with frostiness, because he wasn't the rage type, he was the "I am very disappointed in you" type. The animagus wasn't sure which kind made him feel more guilty. Sirius shut up right then and there after he gave a sharp growl to Zuko to "Sit your bloody arse back onto the cushions".

They all sat in a brief moment of quiet before proceeding.

"Zuko, I get the feeling you are unfamiliar with your surroundings." the scarred boy stiffened to military like attention, wariness clearly written across his distorted face. Sirius found the kid incredibly inept at hiding his feelings. He was just an open book.

"Why would you think that? Look, I really think I should just leave." Zuko was so clearly uncomfortable he was making Sirius uncomfortable.

"Just let him leave, Remus."

"Be a Gryffindor, Sirius. Be chivalrous. Now, Zuko...what is it you are looking for?"

"I don't have to tell you anything." the kid growled low, beginning to look dangerous.

"We don't mean to press, but the world you are in right now is full of tumult. You were lucky to find people willing to help. You may not be so lucky next time."

"I don't need luck." Zuko said this shortly and matter-of-factly, as if it were a mantra he had chanted to himself since a young age.

"Yes," Remus began amicably "but wouldn't it be nice to have some?" the 'for a change' was left unspoken. Zuko glared at them both, some resolution clearly developing in his mind. Sirius knew Remus could argue any resistance out of the teen- he wasn't sure if he wanted him to do that, though, the dog animagus and the scarred boy hadn't really gotten off to a fabulous start of friendship. Zuko looked torn, his brow furrowing and his hands clenching.

"I don't need your pity. I'm not a charity case!"

"I never said you were."

"Well, I don't need your help."

"I'm not about to take back my offer. I know you asked for it earlier."

"Well, I'm fine! I don't need any help! Just tell me how to repay you and I'll leave."

Maybe Remus had met his match. Sirius was impressed how stalwartly the kid refused. He had a feeling this argument would end in some incredibly unsatisfying stalemate.

"You can repay us with staying right here and explaining a few things to us."

Sirius and Zuko both groaned that this and proceeded to eye each other with a look of disgust. How dare they share the same sentiments! Breaking his glare, Sirius turned to fix one on Remus. The werewolf only looked amused by their antics.

"You are both going to explain why and who you ended up at my house and then I am going to go to sleep."

Sirius only intensified the glare.

* * *

Something about telling the two men before him that he was sent to another world by a deity with the sole purpose of remedying his lack of humor didn't sit right with Zuko. He imagined telling someone like Sokka and still came to the conclusion it would make him more than extremely uncomfortable. Especially the reason for this skewed migration being the fact that Zuko couldn't crack a joke for his life- or the life of one hundred others, or a whole division of new recruits or anything else the spirits thought was ironically morbid enough to be amusing. Sokka would probably give some highly sarcastic back pat accompanied by something along the lines of "I know it's rough, but that's just karma buddy."

Zuko wondered where he screwed up badly enough to merit this punishment. Maybe it was because he betrayed uncle. The thought dredged up unpleasant remorse like soggy leaves in the bottom of some emptied cup. He felt vaguely like someone had dumped those dregs on his head and only moved to a position that corresponded with the sensation. Slouching with a glare wasn't exactly princely, but Zuko had perfected the art after observing interactions between Sokka and Toph.

"He can go first." He pointed to Sirius who was undoubtably bristling at the suggestion.

"No, our little lightning bolt victim can have the honors."

"Sirius, please. You must have important news or you wouldn't have risked coming here." at Remus's rationale, Sirius appeared grim. The man sat ridged on his little ottoman, looking decidedly like he had swallowed one too many sea prunes.

"Remus..." he began with a great expression of dread "He back Remus. That little rat brought him back."

While this may have sounded like nonsense to Zuko, the dismal mood that descended in the room was very familiar. It reminded him of when he told Aang and his friends that waiting until after Sozin's comet was not an option. The dread in the air was tangible. The two men met eyes with expressions Zuko was sure he had seen on his uncle. They were veterans, and certainly not veterans steeped in glory. The loss in their gazes was like Iroh remembering cousin Lu Ten. For a brief moment Zuko just wanted to flee the room like a coward.

Quickly he replaced that discomfort with anger. So the Blue Spirit thought it would be funny to fling him into another world at the cusp of some war? He had already been fighting a war! There was no humor in being thrust into another!

Zuko cursed. Remus and Sirius were brought from their grief induced daze by those choice swears. Princes generally didn't use profanity, but sailors did- and if there was one thing he learned from the grizzled Lt. Jee, it was that a well worded curse was often better than burning down your quarters in frustration.

The two men were looking at him expectantly. Zuko reckoned his outburst may have merited some explaining and then considered that maybe setting the cushion next to him on fire would have been a better plan. It was easier to excuse flames as an accident than a well worded string of profanity. So he floundered for some answer to their suspicious glances.

"Uh... I... Well I- um. That's not good news is it?"

Sirius looked on the brink of some massive explosion. Both men appeared stricken. Before Zuko could get lambasted by escaped criminal, Remus saved them all from another verbal spar.

"No, it is not good news." the man said tiredly and the weight in his voice was so reminiscent of Uncle that Zuko nearly choked.

"I'm sorry." he told them tightly while hoping it sounded genuine, because he really was sorry. Wars were sad things. They were awful and destructive and dehumanizing and heartless. There was nothing romantic about war, there was nothing holy or sacred.

Sirius and Remus seemed to accept the apology, albeit with some apparent reluctance and suspicion from the former. Zuko was still mentally seething at the Blue Spirit, though. There was absolutely nothing funny about war.

"I'm gathering up the old crew." Sirius told his friend who nodded and pressed a finger to his temple. "Dumbledore wanted to know if you had any new recruits in mind."

"The Weasleys are a worthy lot. I taught a good few of them."

"I know their son Ron. Harry couldn't ask for a better friend."

"So Molly and Arthur it is. I know they have some older sons too; they may be willing to join."

Zuko could tell the men were being deliberately vague. He wouldn't trust a kid that didn't seem to know anything about the world they were in with some mysterious lightning bolt somehow shot through him. If Zuko wanted to stay with Remus and Sirius, he would have to prove himself undeserving of their suspicion.

It was a surprising thought. Since when had Zuko decided these men were the right people to follow and learn from? Just minutes ago, the prince was eager to leave. Had the mention of war changed his mind?

Zuko packed that confusion away for later- confusion was something he was very used to- and distrust from others. He didn't like either of those things. Hastily, he came to the conclusion that convincing the men that he meant no harm was imperative. A terrifying doubt crossed him mind before he could act on the decision, though.

What if Sirius and Remus had fought on the wrong side? Zuko was very aquatinted with living a lie like that. To think they were bettering the world with that destruction. Flashes of familiar turmoil assaulted him as the other men continued their veiled conversation. Zuko was at a loss. There was no obvious answer to what he had to do. For most of his life, people told the prince of the Fire Nation were and how he should be focusing his energy: Learn firebending. Be a good prince. Stand and fight. Find the Avatar. Only when his uncle advised him to follow his destiny, did Zuko actually have a choice. That decision was one he agonized over, the conclusion being something he may as well have walked miles on broken glass for. Three years of endless searching couldn't even hope to compare to that distress. The spirits were very invested in making Zuko's life harder- a fact those deities, themselves acknowledged- and the Blue Spirit must have been very aware of what it was doing.

Zuko was now stuck in a strange land with only one, vague order: get a sense of humor. There was nothing dictating how he should react in the case of a brewing war or an escaped convict and his bear- battling friend. Caught in inner debate, Zuko struggled for an answer. Impulsively, he found one flying by and clutched it firmly with little regard to consequences. He had three months to find out if the decision he made was right.

"I'll join." Sirius spun to face him. Remus only readopted that investigating look from earlier.

"Do you even know what you're signing up for?" burst from Sirius.

"I've fought in a war before."

"No you haven't. How old are you? 16?" there was a pause in which the exiled prince seethed at the man's dismissal.

"Don't tell me I wasn't fighting in that war. Don't even dare." Zuko must have sounded exceptionally dangerous when he said this because Sirius immediately shut his mouth over the retort he had prepared.

"You are very young Zuko." came Remus from behind Sirius. He sounded very old and reluctant.

"I'm almost 17."

"What about your parents?" was asked tentatively. Zuko figured Remus was afraid the answer would be something sad and horrible. He wasn't too far from the truth.

"They're dead." it hurt Zuko to lie like that, especially when he had only recently found out his mom could be just the opposite. Still, if he was in a world disconnected from his own it would mean that his parents didn't exist. They may as well have been dead.

"That's just what war does." he told their sympathetic looks because it was completely true. War robbed people of fathers, mothers, daughters and sons.

"I want to help."

Sirius looked stunned. Maybe discovering Zuko had another dimension that wasn't a moody disagreeable teenager surprised him. Whatever it was, it prompted a more cooperative version of the escaped convict.

"I guess we can have you talk with Dumbledore." he said slowly, turning to Remus who only nodded with a strange expression.

There was a grim excitement about the exiled prince of the Fire Nation. Despite his anger at the Blue Spirit, he still was willing involving himself in the unfavorable situation he had been thrust into. Zuko felt oddly enthusiastic- a feeling reminiscent of when Aang allowed him to join his group. Unconsciously, he repeated what he had said back then.

"I won't let you down. I promise." and few could rival his conviction.

Here's a preview of something that might happen in the near future- actuall it's def gonna happen because I already wrote some of it.

"You don't belong here." came a airy, but matter-of-fact voice behind Zuko like some pale plant grown in the darkness of a cave. It was all unexpected and direct, surrounded by stone walls and terribly out of place. The banished prince of the Fire Nation whirled around, mind flickering with the sparks of slight panic. Before him was a girl around Katara's age with impossibly large blue eyes and a head of crinkled, bleached hair. She blinked

"What?" Zuko dared to ask this almost effervescent girl.

"I said you don't belong here." she looked around as if to cement their setting "This is the lady's section after all."

Zuko blinked.

"Oh. It is."

She smiled placidly upwards, eyes half closed, somehow pleased she helped him reach that revelation.

"You must feel like Harry Potter looking like that." she supplied another non-sequitur before tilting her head drastically to one side. The blond hair fell over her face in a disconcerting fashion- almost as if it possessed the same qualities as swamp grass, barring the greasiness.

"Does this Harry Potter wear women's clothes?" Zuko tried some humor. That was the reason all of this was happening anyway.

"No. His friend Ronald Weasly did at the Yule Ball last year, though. His collar looked like a cuttlefish: all frilly and floppy and mauve..." she trailed off in some distant recollection, leaving Zuko to watch her with disbelief. Before he had traversed dimensions, there was no doubt in his mind the people like the young lady before him were too strange to exist. The odd land of Great Britain, however, was out to prove him wrong. Zuko floundered for a response to her little anecdote. It must have been apparent how difficult continuing the conversation was for him because the girl gave him a sympathetic look and some bizarre words of reassurance.

"You look very confused, but don't worry. My daddy told me that Chinese plateau eels only stay in your frontal lobe for a few days. You'll begin to understand things normally by the end of the week."

This only furthered the bewilderment Zuko was feeling so acutely.

"What?" he asked for a second time that day.

"I know you're confused. Just drink some orange juice and the eel will come out faster."

"What are you even talking about?"

"Oh! You really should get to that orange juice. I can tell the eel is effecting you very strongly." she nodded sagely and gave him a somewhat patronizing look. Maybe Zuko did have an eel in his brain- he was terribly confused after all.

"Uh... I need to go."

"Let me guide you." the girl offered "I know finding my way through Diagon Alley is hard even perfectly lucid."

Zuko felt a surprisingly strong grip in his arm and she began to tow him to the front of the store. He spotted Remus looking stiff on one of the chairs behind the window. Trying to convey his dilemma through urgent facial expressions proved effective as the older man stood and approached them.

Tentitvely, he asked the girl

"Luna?"

In a whirl of pale hair and bright eyes she faced Remus with an airy smile.

"Professor Lupin!" Luna's reaction to the man was much different than many of the responses other people had on their outing. Remus seemed to revel in her lack of disgust and returned her grin.

"I see you've met my friend Zuko."

She nodded and gave the prince a concentrated look.

"He asked me if Harry Potter wore women's clothes."

Remus laughed

"He's got a sense of humor doesn't he?"

Luna shrugged and shifted a bundle of robes in her hands

"You might need to check his frontal lobe, Professor. I think he may have picked up a Chinese plateau eel."

The ex-defense teacher did a remarkable job looking like he knew what, exactly, Luna was talking about.

"A Chinese plateua eel? Well, we can't have that, can we Zuko?" Remus met the prince's gaze with barely conceiled humor.

"Uh... Yeah." Zuko felt a little dissapointed with his eloquence.

"I told him to drink more orange juice. It helps with the confusion."

It was obvious to an educated observer that Remus was barely containing his mirth.

If Sirius was there, both would be shamelessly laughing though the whole store. Zuko would stand to one side, the bridge of his nose pinched between thumb an index finger while Remus would tell his friend to stop through his own snickers.

He was glad Sirius stayed at the house.

"Everyone should remember to drink more orange juice." the man paused and looked at the bundle under Luna's arm "And what have you got there Luna?"

At Remus's question, the girl seemed to remember the existence of the fabric. Releasing Zuko's forearm, she held up the garment to full length. A whispy set of salmon pink robes wavered from her outstretched hands and a look of minor awe settled onto her face.

"That's lovely, Luna." Remus supplied.

"Yes. I thought they would look very nice. Daddy has a matching set. We're going to a funeral."


End file.
